This Is It

As I sat at my desk and looked at a picture of my parents and me during senior night, I began to reflect upon that day. I thought about how my coach, Ben Karnish, said a prayer that brought me to tears. During part of his prayer he mentioned that the seniors have had a tough journey inside as well as outside of soccer. He also encouraged the underclassmen to play for the seniors because they have worked so hard. Some of his words really hit me as I realized that this road hasn't been an easy road these past 4 years.

I began to reflect and see that this is it. I am a senior and my soccer season is coming to a close. I began to think about how I've been playing this game for 15 years, since I was six years old.  I then thought about the moment I prayed during the national anthem and began to cry just thanking God for getting me this far.

As I reflected upon these moments the song "10,000 Reasons" started playing on my computer. I started to cry even more as I remembered that this very song is the same song I sang on the day of my graduation in high school. This was just 4 years ago. To think that I was a senior in high school and now a senior in college amazes me as I look back on this journey.

This journey has been rough, challenging, frustrating, overwhelming, rewarding, touching, but overall beautiful as I think of the moments where I felt like I was alone, but God showed me that I am never alone. As I think of the moments I felt like no one loved me on my birthday and was reminded through people, through Praise and Worship, through friends, through family, that Jesus loves me. It is His love that surpasses every other love in this world. As I began to reflect on the times that I struggled in my mind with internal, mental battles, and realized that God sent people in my life for such a time as this to remind me that I am an overcomer and I need to fight in the spirit.

God has showed me through His Holy Spirit that the enemy has been trying to put me down, take my joy, my confidence, my peace, myself, my voice, my mind, and my purpose, but God has continued to push me, fight for me, strengthen me, and speak to me. He has taught me that there are gifts, words, stories in me, that I need to share even though it will be uncomfortable.

It just makes me think that if this 4 years has shaped me significantly to become the woman I am today, then I believe greater is coming. God's not through with me. I know that He will use me in the classroom, in ministry, through my poems, throughout my life. I know that this time is only for a season, but I am so grateful for Northwestern and the lessons this place has taught me. I am forever thankful that God has been here through it all because I don't know what I would've done without Him by my side each of everyday. He is such a good good Father!